Ep46: The Story of Emil: When Love Remains

It is a loss that cuts deep into the heart and is hard to put into words. Anna lost her little son Emil from one day to the next. He was 20 months old. A friendly, funny child with an open character and an astonishing sense of confidence in his movements and actions. In this article, Anna shares how her life changed in a moment – and how she learned to cope with the loss.

Emil: A lively and friendly child

Emil was a calm and happy child from the very beginning. "He didn't ask for much, just contact and food," says Anna. He started talking early, was open and sociable, and touched many people around him with his positive nature.

What Anna remembers most vividly is Emil's unusual way of moving: "He didn't crawl in the typical way but moved through the apartment on his bottom. People laughed and found it very sweet." Anna fondly recalls the natural confidence that Emil radiated. "He was self-assured and uncomplicated."

Anna Wenner, Mom of Emil and psychologist

The Loss: From One Day to the Next

Emil had never been seriously ill. He was fit, full of energy, and happy. That’s why it was such a shock when he suddenly became ill in October. "He had a common virus, probably brought home from daycare. We had no reason to worry," Anna explains.

That night, Emil vomited a few times, but the next day he was still playing normally. "He didn’t seem particularly weak or unwell."

Later, as Emil was lying next to her in bed, Anna noticed that something wasn’t right. "He pushed me away, let himself fall back on the bed, and suddenly started having convulsions." From that moment, everything happened very quickly. Anna called an ambulance, and shortly afterward, Emil was flown to the hospital by helicopter.

"I was in shock. Everything happened so fast. We could only watch as the doctors did everything they could," Anna recalls. Despite all efforts, Emil’s little body stopped fighting. On October 30, at 10 a.m., Emil passed away.

Grief and Despair

"For the first two weeks, my partner was just there for me. He was my support, my rock," says Anna. But he was also in shock. "After the funeral, he completely broke down as well."

Anna and her partner grieved in different ways: "I needed to talk a lot and express my emotions. He, on the other hand, channeled his energy into activity — building things, working on projects, and sorting Emil's belongings." Anna describes how difficult it was to understand these differences and not grow apart. "It helped to talk a lot, give ourselves time, and not pressure each other."

A Voice for Grief and Hope

Anna decided early on to seek professional support and started therapy. At the same time, she began sharing her thoughts on an Instagram channel. "I wanted to talk about it authentically – not just about Emil’s death, but also about the memories, the joy, and his incredible zest for life."

This way of dealing with grief and loss helped her in a social space that also brought comfort to other mothers who had experienced similar losses. "I am grateful that I can turn my story into something positive," says Anna. "The memory of Emil remains, and that is a great gift to me."

Love Remains

Today, Anna still regularly talks to her son. "I sometimes speak to him out loud when I’m alone." For her, it’s important to continue feeling connected to Emil in her own way.

"My hope is that despite everything that has happened, we can be happy again," says Anna in conclusion. "And that Emil will always have an important place in our lives."